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30.12.2017- Another Year Over...

Saturday, 30 December 2017


2017 hey? What a completely upside down time it's been. I couldn't let the year pass without reflecting on the last twelve months, especially as they've been something of a rollercoaster for me. It's always difficult to put things like this into words without sounding too cryptic, but I can genuinely say that the last year has probably been one of the most difficult so far, and it's taught me some serious lessons about just how unpredictable life can be. One day, you're happily thinking about nothing more important than what to have for lunch, and then the next- BAM- big life thing comes at you with a force you can't control or anticipate, pulling the rug out from under you completely. 

Working through grief, stress and all sorts of other associated trauma is tough. Really tough. Tough in a way that nobody can explain or prepare you for. For most of this year, I've felt like all I've been able to do is just get through one day at a time- whether that's a day buoyed with moments of light, or a day when I've not been able to stop crying for no discernible reason. In short, all of these little things I'd pigeon-holed away for years have really come home to roost over the last six months or so- not constantly, and by no means as extremely as they might have done, but there have been times this year where I've felt like a different person completely- worrying about everything and nothing all at the same time, and simultaneously feeling all of my self confidence drip, drip away. 

Throughout all of this, I've never been more grateful to be surrounded by such a great group of friends- they know who they are- to whom I can talk to openly, honestly and without fear of judgement. And, throughout most of it, I've realised that most of the anxieties which I've been feeling are not isolated to me alone- they are, instead, quiet, common worries which punctuate the day to day of so many of us. I was also lucky enough to get away to France with some of my favourite blogging babes- a glorious group of humans who I couldn't feel more lucky to know- without them being at the end of a WhatsApp group chat, I honestly don't know what I would do. 

If I can take away anything from this year (besides a sense of hope that 2018 is going to be better), it's that looking after yourself is really, really important. I've been prioritising making time for myself to alleviate anxiety through stress-busting activities such as running, reading and generally taking better care of myself. Fresh air and being able to immerse myself in green space has been a blessing. Finally getting around to getting those little health niggles sorted out (still a work in progress). Treating myself to my first ever facial just as a means to wind down. Realising that my hair falling out in handfuls in the shower probably isn't the most normal of signs. Switching off from screens. And, most importantly, realising that it's not in any way selfish to put yourself first. 

So, as we head into the next year, I'm quietly hopeful, but not getting my hopes up. I'm hoping to put together some longer posts on all of this as the year plays out too, so keep your eyes peeled. 

Sending love and light for 2018.

Sarah
x

(Image credit: Sarah Farrell, please do not reproduce without permission.)


2 comments:

  1. <3 <3 <3
    And I feel you on the handfuls of hair - here's to a less stressful 2018 xxx

    ReplyDelete

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